The Secrets of a Journal
by MyFallOutRomance
Summary: Nicholas Angel suspects Danny has secret feelings for him, and after reading Dannys journal he finds out the truth. What he does next is - well, you have to read and find out!


**The Secrets of a Journal**

I know you look at me in the way you do. I have seen it out the corner of my eye, when your eating your cornetto I can still tell your looking in my direction, with large eyes. Sometimes I could even sense you edging a little nearer to me on the couch when we were watching a film that had a scene of romance in it. It was hard not to notice your hand gently resting on mine soon after you had dropped off, and I would take it away as carefully as I could.

You don't know that I know these things about you, like how I know you drool in your sleep and how you sometimes mumble nonsense. You are completely oblivious to my lack of patience when we are chasing crooks through the street and how you are usually far behind than me, but I just put up with you anyway. I really do like you Danny, but not the way I know you would like me too.

You see, I read your journal last night. I know that is completely wrong and just something friends shouldn't do, but I sort of found it by accident. It was basically lying on your bed wide open. You had taken me to your room because you had to try and make your father leave the house, and you knew if I laid eyes on him I would surely start a fight. So while you was downstairs I sat down, and to drain out that old mans voice I had picked up the book and started to read to distract myself.

I then realized it was your handwriting and this intrigued me further. I turned it to the front and saw the words scratched on the black leather 'Danny's Diary, Paws Off' I bit my lip and closed it and put it back down on your bed covers, but then I heard you two laughing downstairs. I truly don't understand why you still like your father, but I suppose you are blood related so you have to put up with him. I gave up on my father years ago, though. After he hit my mother.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind as I opened your journal again and flipped through, looking for a recent date. I found a date from last year, shortly after we had met. I turned the pages, slightly shocked by what I was reading.

This guy, Nicholas Angle just suddenly turned up at the station this morning and asked why I was wearing a police uniform. Was he daft? I told him I was a police officer and he looked shocked at that. As he turned away I narrowed my eyes at him. I'm sure I wont like this guy one bit... he sounds like a complete show off as well. But then again, he could be pretty nice under that cold shell and his bullet proof vest…why was he wearing that anyway? I will have to tell the Andy's and see what they had to say. My dad then showed him around the station-

Footsteps. My heart yelped as I closed the book in frenzy and placed it on the bed behind me quickly and quietly as I could. I then tried to look natural as Danny popped his head through the door

'Sorry Nick, my dad might be in the house for a while. You can leave through the front door if you want'

'That's fine Danny'

I stood up and he smiled sheepishly. We walked down the stairs quietly and then we realized Butterman was in the kitchen, tutting at the mess of pizza boxes piled up on top of each other on the table. I couldn't go out either door because he would hear me, I really didn't want to run into him. But I didn't really care what he thought, so I just walked in front of Danny on the stairs and I stood in the hallway. Butterman looked up at me and his face went white and he looked at me as if I have just crawled out from under a stone. His hair was greyer and he had put on a lot of weight since the last time I had sawn him, which was a few years ago. I gave him a sneer before walking past him and out of the kitchen door, closing it behind me and walked down the steps out of the garden.

Later that night, I received a call from Danny inviting me over again. I said yes and shortly after I was at his front step and he let me in. He gave me a beer and smiled

'Sorry about earlier, my dad just wanted to see how I was and he hadn't seen me in a while so yeah...'

'Its ok Danny' I assured him and he grinned and we sat down on the couch again. Half an hour later Danny then went through to the kitchen and I heard him whine

'What's the matter?' I said

'There's no beer left. Or anything else in my fridge for that matter. Umm is it ok if I just go to the shop and you stay here yourself?' he asked

'Yeah that's fine, I suppose' I replied

'Ok, won't be long'

I heard the door open and then close with a slam. I sat there for 5 minutes, watching the TV. What the hell was I watching anyway? There was two guys dressed up as women and riding a bike together…

Danny's journal then came back to my mind. I had the sudden urge to go upstairs and peer into its secret contents. It was like there was a box in front of you and you were told not to look inside. But eventually you would out of the pressure…

I know I shouldn't, but I soon found myself walking up the stairs of Danny's house and walking into his bedroom. I saw his bed, with the book where I had left it on top of the duvet. I blinked a few times. Danny could be back any time now, and he could find me reading his secrets and private life written down in his messy handwriting that I just managed to read.

I picked it up and held it carefully, as if it could fall apart any moment. I opened it quickly and I found the latest journal entry. Just this one part I would read, only this part.

It was the most revealing part of the whole journal, but I didn't know that at the time. It was dated from last week.

I think Nicholas is catching on. I was looking at him yesterday while we were sitting in the office at the station…and I didn't particularly notice I was doing it, or what was my face looked like for that matter. He looked right at me, with his piercing green/blue eyes. My head was on my hand, and my eyes were half closed. As he looked at me I had sighed. I saw his eyes widen at my action and in a hurried rush I looked down at my papers and shuffled them, to look distracted. But he had seen…and I swear my heart was about to burst out of my chest. My crush for Nick is getting out of control. After all, I have liked him for a few months now. But he must NEVER find out…

Just last night I had a dream of us sitting in the police car and he had taken me in his arms and-

I dropped the book and I looked up straight into Danny's mirror. My mouth was gaping, my eyebrows focused in a confused defiance. I stepped back from the book…it was all true. He really did fancy me…he fucking dreamed of me snogging him on duty! Something I would never, ever think of doing!

This was too much. I ran down the stairs, completely forgetting where I had left the journal and I grabbed my coat and out the door I went. I had power walked all the way back to my cottage in a state of aghast.

I lay on my bed and let the phone ring several times. But I never picked it up. Because I knew who was on the other line…

You see Danny…I know everything now. I'm sitting here sipping tea in the station, reading the newspaper waiting for the bustle of my fellow colleagues coming in to start a new day of police work. I'm still in shock from the whole thing yes… I have also had a restless night and therefore I came to work early. I usually did come to work early anyway, but this time it was extra.

My stomach is actually in knots. I'm actually nervous to set eyes on you. If I had it my way I wouldn't look at you or hear anything about you for the next week, but work interfered with this. I never get nervous about anything really, but this was one exception. I looked at the clock. I hate clock-watchers but I couldn't help myself this time. You would be sitting in front of me in the next few minutes or so, and the awkward day would begin.

I knew I left your journal out for the whole world to see, plus my discarded beer on the table and my early departure may have hinted I had found out your secret. I wonder how you are feeling now that I know…but you still phoned last night. But I couldn't bear picking it up.

You never did come into the office that morning. You were probably in the station, but not in the same room as me. It was official that you knew of my discovery…

Unfortunately for me, and for you for that matter we would have to go on car duty today together. I then remember reading the first part of your dream. I cringed at the thought. I took a sneaky look at the clock and realized all my thinking had cut time short. I stood up and left the room after putting my cup in the sink, which had been refilled at least 3 times beforehand.

I walked out the door towards the police car waiting for us, and surely enough I heard you come out the station shortly after. I had heard you, but I acted as if I hadn't acknowledged your presence. You climbed in the car next to me, and I didn't even look in your direction. I just kept my eyes on the road as your drove us to where we usually sat for the next hour, reading speed limits.

We usually talked quite a lot when we sat in the car alone together, but not today. All I really said to you were the numbers and I heard your pen scratching down those numbers into your word pad.

Not a single car crossed our path for at least another 3 minutes. Those 3 minutes were the single longest 3 minutes of my life, let alone yours. I heard you swallow at least 4 times before I dared to move my head a little to the left and out the corner of my eye I could see the side of your face, and you were staring out the glass. I looked down and noticed you were twiddling your thumbs. I looked back up at you and noticed you were looking at me at the corner of your own eye, watching me. I turned my head to the right a bit to quickly and looked out the window. A car finally drove past

'69' I said in drone and then you chuckled writing it down

'What?' I asked, looking towards you and you were giggling away

'Nothing...' you laughed harder.

I chuckled

'Is it because I said 69?' he let out a full hearted laugh, and nodded going red with the laughter

'Danny, your just, just strange' I laughed shaking my head side to side. My eyes then widened

'Danny! Get after him!'

Danny gasped and he pulled into gear, turning the sirens on. He turned round the car and it screeched into life and zoomed down the road after the assaulting car which was going at 69 miles per hour at a 40 lane. The offending car slowly came to a halt after a few minutes of serious road rage.

We jumped out our car and we both stood at each window of the one in front of us. I stood at the driver's window and watched it slowly slide down to reveal an unfamiliar face. A woman with bright red hair with black sunglasses on started up at me

'Madame, you do realize you are going at 69 miles per hour in a 40 lane, am I correct?'

'Well yeah, but you see… I can explain'

'I'm waiting' I folded my arms. I couldn't see her eyes through those ghastly sunglasses but I could tell she was looking round the place nervously, thinking of an excuse

'Well I just got my new brakes installed and they had been very expensive and I didn't want to wear them down' she said all to quickly, but still gave me a toothy grin.

I raised an eyebrow and I looked up at Danny for the first time that day and our eyes met. My eyebrow dropped as he stared at me with sorry eyes. I could tell he was sorry for everything that had happened. I could see he was ashamed. He looked rough too as his hair wasn't as neat, as if it was ever neat but today it was different. He looked quite stressed to say the least. It went by to slow and the driver must have seen the look on my face

'So am I free to go?' she asked expectantly. My face then hardened as I looked down at her

'No! You are coming with us'

I made her park at the side of the road and we took her back to the station in the police car. She was interrogated and charged of excessive speeding without a proper reason and was free to go later that afternoon.

I hadn't seen Danny after that, and I really didn't want to. That look he had given me earlier was just so…intense, I couldn't take it. He looked so down and depressed as well…and it was all my fault. I should have just kept my prying eyes to myself and just stayed watching that terrible programme and waited until he had come back. But instead like a coward I had left and didn't bother trying to hide the evidence. I realize now that, I think I had purposely left the journal on the ground and everything, as it was just to spite him.

I then felt a pang of guilt and shame inside me. I wasn't supposed to find out anything about Danny's secret feelings for me. He knew it would turn out like this and we would slowly drift apart…he valued our friendship so much he didn't care about his feelings, he only cared about mine. He honestly really did care about me, and even though when he first met me and didn't shine to me to well, he grew to like me and genuinely care about me. I think he is the best person I have ever met in all-honest truth. Who cared if he had a little crush on me, he was still my Danny. My best friend who actually was willing to die for me.

He took that bullet all those years ago, and as a result he was put on a life support machine. It was a miracle he pulled through. I visited him everyday and we had gradually gotton closer…so close Danny couldn't help himself.

As I sat in my office and thought all this through, I looked up and saw Danny standing at the doorway looking at me tapping my pen on my book absentmindedly and deep in thought. How long had he been standing there, watching me so intently? We stared at each other for about half a minute. I noticed how his eyes had lost their spark…

He then took me by surprise as he suddenly spoke. It was quiet though

'Its all right, Nicholas. Its all right if you never want to see me again, hear me again or even think I exist anymore. I understand. Your probably thinking about how much you hate me now. I'm sorry for your trouble'

He turned to go. I then dived out of my seat after him

'Danny, wait!'

I put a hand on his shoulder from behind and he stopped walking. He was unaware of it, but I was creasing my eyebrows and licking my lips nervously

'Don't go Danny. I need you'

I really did need Danny in my life. I was nothing without him. Without Danny, I'm sure I would crumble and not really have a reason to live anymore. I had truthfully found another person I cared more about than my job. Much, much more. More than Danny was ever going to know. I have never needed someone so much in my life before

'You're my best friend Danny, don't leave me'

I realized my voice was shaking, I was letting my guard down but at this moment I didn't really care. Even if I were crying on the floor I still wouldn't care. I just needed Danny to stay with me

'You mean that?'

He turned to face me. I noticed his eyes were watering

'Your not going to shun me?' he whispered

'You really think I would do that? To my Danny?' I smiled a bit

'Your Danny?'

I don't know what took over me. But suddenly I was aware of pulling Danny towards my face and pressing my lips on his in a light kiss. Yes, I needed Danny and I would never let him go out of my life. I pulled away, my breath shaky and I looked up at him. I could tell he was resisting the temptation to beam like an idiot, I loved it when he did that though

'Yes, my Danny' I took his hands and pulled him in again, savouring the kiss.

It was the best kiss of my life, and I was sure it was for Danny to as I felt his hand snake up my arm. In the last 5 minutes I was sure I had fallen in love with the big oaf

'And..' he pulled out of the kiss. We didn't really give a flying rats arse that were standing in the doorway where any officer could walk past and see

'You're my Nicholas?' he looked at me expectantly.

'I belong to nobody'

I saw his eyes drop, his hands then slackened. I reached up and ruffled his hair

'Just kidding!'

He laughed out loud and kissed me again

'Typical of you'

He then did the cutest little squeak I had ever heard in my life as I kissed his neck. I never find anything cute. Except for Danny. A thought then flashed through my head. I had just done something I said I would never do. I said I would never make out with Danny on duty, and here I was. Doing just that. I then straightened

'Danny, we are standing in broad daylight of our fellow colleagues making out, which is completely unprofessional in anyone's book-'

'Oh shut up' he pressed against me and I felt something-

My mouth dropped and Danny giggled.

The rascal.


End file.
